I can remember the moment so vividly. Seeing my mother on her knees in front of the hallway closet door, sobbing uncontrollably. I was fairly young at the time, maybe 9 or 10 years old.
That was the moment I found out about her miscarriages.
My parents had always wanted to have a large family. Subsequently, we used to tease my mother that she could barely handle the three she had, why would she ever want more.
They even attempted to adopt. However, the siblings they had hoped would become part of our family found another loving home instead.
Over the years my mother gave up on the idea of expanding the family. My parents poured themselves into their jobs and my mother’s health began to decline.
Nevertheless, the day she sat there on her knees sobbing is forever embedded into my memories.
After putting my hand on her shoulder to ask what was wrong, it was then she showed me the hopsital bracelets. She had kept them all these years.
As she wiped her face and tried to stop her tears, she told me about the two miscarriages she had before my older sister was born. We had no idea about our two siblings in heaven and no idea all these years my mother had been grieving in silence.
No one spoke of it. Not even the extended family. But she never forgot.
As each birthday passed or anniversary of the loss, she held onto that grief so tight that it all came flooding out the day she cleaned that hallway closet.
The staggering truth is 1 in 3 pregnancies end in miscarriage.
For Christians, this can leave many mothers feeling alone, isolated and even confused how such a horrible thing could even happen. Quite simply, “the beauty of God is that He strengthens us through it.”
Actress Tami Farrell Wyrick shared about her own heartbreaking experience on The Kristen Dalton Wolfe Show after suffering two miscarriages. Farrell refused to be angry at God and instead chose to see how God was using the heartbreak to strengthen her life.
“He’s not going to have to hurt us to teach us something. But when we’re hurting, He’s there to carry us through it. And that’s where we get strengthened.”
God knows your pain better than you know it youself. He restores the broken, brings beauty from ashes and gives hope to the hopeless.
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18, ESV)
God, we pray for the mothers here on earth who grieving the loss of their children that are now in heaven. Do not let them be isolated or feel that they must suffer alone. God, put it on the hearts of those around them to be a comfort and light in the darkness. Put people around them to pray for them, even if they don’t yet know why. God give them strength, courage, hope and healing. Amen.
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